A Cure for Loneliness
by Midnight Blue Knight
Summary: This is kind of a Zell/Selphie/Irvine triangle...but its really a Zelphie. Zell's lonely and envious of all the couples, but nobody seems to notice except his best friend. Chapter 4 added! More coming soon!
1. A Sadness Unknown

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or anything to do with it...Square does. I also do not own "Hold Her Closer"...that is the property of Blessid Union of Souls and their respective record company.   
  
A/N: This is the author formerly known as Black Knight. I changed my pen name because there were, like, four other people with the same one...anyway. I've been absolutely itching to write a Zelphie for the longest time now and I think my muse has finally paid me a visit. This will be a multi-chaptered story. (Most of you know that I hate Irvine, but even so I won't bash him in this fic. He won't be a rapist or anything like that, but I do see him as somewhat of a womanizer and I will portray him in that manner.)  
  
Note about Songs: I'm going to start every chapter with a song that I think applies to that chapter. I will explain the background of these songs.  
  
  
  
  
Explanation of "Hold Her Closer": Imagine this song from Zell's POV. I always felt bad for him because everyone got a good coupling except for him. All he got was a dorky library girl. I think if I were in his situation I would feel a little envy of the rest of the group. This portrays that. It also portrays how he wouldn't want people to take their happiness for granted. Also, I have altered some of the lyrics. (In the original some of the hers were hims.)  
  
When you see love  
And you don't know what it is  
You might find yourself in fear to show your heart  
But when you feel it  
And it's oh so wonderful  
You might find yourself in fear to let it part  
In fear to let it part  
  
So hold her closer when she cries  
Hold her closer when she feels she needs a hand to hold  
Someone who'll never let her go again  
And hold her closer when she tries  
To hold the tears back from her eyes  
Don't say goodbye  
  
When your heart decides   
That it's time to let it through  
There's no reason to be scared to open up  
Love may be blind  
But all of us don't see it   
So just once in your life  
If you hear the knock of love just let it in  
  
Hold her closer when she cries   
Hold her closer when you know it's time to say goodbye  
You hurry back to see her smile again  
And hold her closer when she's down  
When her world is upside down  
Turn it around  
  
So hold her closer when she cries  
Hold her closer when she feels she needs a hand to hold  
Someone who'll never let her go again  
And hold her closer when she's down  
When her world is upside down  
Turn it around  
Hold her close  
  
- "Hold Her Closer" by Blessid Union of Souls  
  
  
  
Zell sat lazily in the cafeteria. They were, yet again, out of hot dogs. Zell was beginning to think that nothing would ever come out in his favor. He couldn't even get a damn hot dog, how could he expect to get a girlfriend.  
Love was the one thing that had managed to allude him his whole life. He had all the glory and hero worship he could muster. He had accomplished his goal of being a great military man like his grandfather, but what was it all worth if he didn't have anybody to share it with. Sure, the library girl liked him, and he didn't have anything against her. She was cute and nice, but she just wasn't what he was looking for.  
As if Zell's loneliness wasn't bad enough he was up to his ears in happy couples. Squall and Rinoa were inseparable, Seifer and Quistis were constantly arguing, but they always said 'I love you' and kissed the problem away, Irvine's arms looked like they were surgically attached around Selphie, and of course Cid and Matron were always locked in each other's loving gaze. Even Nida and Xu had managed to get together. It wasn't like Zell wasn't happy for his friends. He was immensely happy that they were happy with each other. He loved them all so much how could he not be happy for them.   
The thing that really got to him was how they all took it for granted. Since he didn't have anyone he knew the pains of it. All of his friends were so absorbed in each other they didn't even stop to consider the thought of losing the other. Zell knew that if he actually did find somebody he would want to hold on to her for the rest of his life.  
The other thing that ate at him was how excluded he felt. Almost every night the couple's were together or on double dates with another couple. Where did that leave Zell? Nobody even seemed to notice that all of his nights were either spent alone in his dorm room or in the training center. They didn't even notice that the usual spring in his step had been dwindling away as depression set in. Did anybody even care? Or were they too happy to notice Zell's lack of happiness?  
'Just keep putting on the show,'Zell thought,'Don't want to rain on their parade.'  
Zell was snapped out of his thoughts when he saw Selphie racing towards him.  
"Zelly!,"she squeaked with glee. She had to stop so suddenly that she almost fell on him.  
"Whoa, Selphie, watch it there! What is it?"he asked.  
"Aren't you gonna come sit with us? You've been sitting over here all by yourself looking all gloomy,"she said with a touch of sympathy in her voice.  
"I don't think so,"Zell said. He really didn't feel like sitting with everybody listening to them argue about who loved who more.  
"Pweeeeaaase,"Selphie pleaded. She poked out her bottom lip in an attempt to make a "puppy dog" face. Zell always thought she looked really cute when she did that.  
"Okay,"he growled. He always hated that he couldn't say no to her. Even when they were small children at Matron's orphanage, if Selphie said jump, Zell asked how high. He never even understood why it was like that, he just learned to live with it.  
"Yay!"Selphie exclaimed, clapping her hands together.  
They made their way across the cafeteria to where everybody else was sitting. Zell plopped down between between Quistis and Squall. Selphie sat down next to Irvine across from him. Just as he predicted the arguing started. It was Squall and Rinoa this time.  
"No, I love YOU more!"Rinoa squealed.  
"No, I love YOU more!"Squall countered.  
Zell bit his tongue to keep himself from screaming at them to shut the hell up. He felt like he was going to vomit. Seifer and Quistis were just staring at each other and Irvine and Selphie were exchanging flirtatious kisses. Zell didn't even feel like trying to act like his usual hyper self he just leaned forward with his chin on his hand and sighed as he continued to be ignored.  
  
Selphie giggled as Irvine placed light kisses all over her face. She liked it when he focused all his attentions on her which didn't exactly happen all the time. Let's face it, Irvine was a flirt. In fact as soon as two buxom blondes walked in, Irvine's kisses stopped. Selphie sighed and let Irvine shoot his flirtatious grins toward them. She didn't like how he flirted with other girls, but she knew he wouldn't cheat on her so she didn't say anything about it. It was better than being alone, right?  
She turned away from Irvine, dubbing him a lost cause as long as those blondes were in the cafeteria. Her gaze fell on Zell. She smiled. She didn't know why, but every time she looked at him she couldn't help but smile. She never told him, but she considered him her best friend. He had always been so nice to her. Even at the orphanage. She remembered that one time she fell and scraped her knee and Zell ran to her aid. He even carried her back to the orphanage. He had always been considerate like that.  
She noticed, thought, that there was something different about him lately. Ever since they defeated Ultimecia he hadn't been as peppy as he usually was. She always liked how fiery he was. It reassured her that she wasn't the only one. It made her sad to see him so glum. He was currently staring at the table and rolling his eyes everytime Squall or Rinoa said 'I love you more'. She felt like she should do something to restore him to his former happiness, but she wasn't exactly sure what was wrong with him. She did have a suspiscion, though. She got her idea from the way he acted when he was around all the couples. He was probably feeling left out. She figured he felt like he was losing her friends. She hoped she was right because if she was she thought she could do something about it. She was going to try to spend some time with him so he would know that he wasn't losing his friends. She would try to get the others to do the same.   
  
Zell looked up and saw Selphie smile at him. He slightly smiled back. Normally he would grin from ear to ear when she smiled at him, but he just didn't feel up to it this day. Her smile did make him feel better, though. It always did. Her smile could light up his whole world. He had never told her, but he saw her as his best friend.   
He noticed that Irvine had stopped kissing Selphie and was now staring at two rather skanky looking blondes. He knew it was a matter of opinion, but he wouldn't have given either one of them a first glance, much less a second. It really pissed him off that Irvine could just forget Selphie was even there as soon as another girl walked in the room. It ate at him even more that Selphie just let him do it without saying anything. Zell hoped that one day Selphie would find a guy that would treat her the way she deserved.   
That was one thing he had to give Squall, Seifer, and Nida credit for. They treated their girlfriends right. Even Seifer, as much as he argued with Quistis, would walk barefoot over broken glass for her. All the girls were his friends, anyway, and he would gladly kick the ass of anyone that tried to hurt them physically or emotionally. And since Selphie was his best friend, whoever hurt her would get a lot more than an ass-kicking.  
"Zell, what are you doing tonight?"Selphie asked pulling him out of his thoughts again.  
"I'll probably just go down to the training center and practice some,"he said.  
"You go there every night, Zell. I'll tell you what why don't you come do something with me?"she asked. Zell was surprised. Someone had noticed that he hadn't been around. Zell was confused as to why he was especially glad that it was Selphie who had noticed.  
"What did you have in mind?"Zell asked hesitantly.  
"I don't know. Let's see...Oh! I've got it! You like astronomy right?"she asked.   
"Yeah, I guess you could say I'm kind of a star gazer,"Zell answered. There was another thing he had thought nobody noticed. And again he felt a strange warmth because it was Selphie who noticed.   
"Well maybe we could go down to the beach so the lights from Garden don't mess up the view and we could do a little star gazing. I heard it's supposed to be a great night for it,"she said hoping he would say yes. She kept telling herself she was doing this for Zell, but deep down she missed him. She had been spending all her time with Irvine and as great as that was it didn't beat the fun she used to have with Zell. She even missed the games of tag and hide and go seek they used to play at the orphanage.  
"Hmmm...I guess so. Are you sure you don't want to spend tonight with Irvine?"Zell asked. He sorely wanted to hang out with Selphie, but he didn't want her to be there just because she felt sorry for him.  
"He'll be fine on his own for one night. I miss spending time with you anyway,"she admitted. She reached over the table and put her hand on his. An odd warmth spread through her body at the contact. She couldn't explain it so she just shook it off as a best friend thing.   
"Yeah, I miss it, too,"Zell said, grinning back shyly. Selphie took her hand back and decided to tell Irvine that he would be without her company that night.  
"Irvy, I'm going to hang with Zell tonight. Is that okay, hon?"Selphie asked.   
"Yeah, sure, whatever,"he said not even paying attention to her. He was too busy smiling and winking at the blondes. Selphie frowned. She thought that he might be a little disappointed at not having her around.   
Zell frowned at this, too.   
'There he goes again,'he thought,'taking love for granted.'  
Selphie turned back to Zell.  
"Well, I guess that settles it,"she said"How about I meet you at your room at around seven?"she asked.  
"Okay, that sounds good,"Zell said. He smiled.  
'Maybe things aren't so bad,'he thought,'I may not have love, but at least I have a great best friend.'  
  
  
Well there's the first chapter. Pretty soon I'll have a new chapter and a new song...tell me what you think...I live off feedback. 


	2. Opening Up

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or any of these characters and places and such...Square does. I do not own "Are You Sad?" either. It belongs to Our Lady Peace and their record company.  
  
  
A/N: I need more reviews! I need feedback! And sorry this took me so long. I've had a ton of school work. I plan on continuing my other fics very soon, too.  
  
  
Explanation of song: Okay, this one is "Are You Sad?" by Our Lady Peace. I love this band. Imagine the song from Selphie's POV. This is used to represent how she thinks Zell is sad, but she's not sure why or anything like that. I also altered one lyric. (Where it says "girl", in the original it was "man".)  
  
  
Your life has seemed so hard  
It's been dried up angels  
That can't keep guard  
I'm trying to reach your hand  
But I'm on fire I never planned to  
Fade away, stay with me  
Stop pretending when they say you're nothing  
  
Are you sad  
Are you holding yourself  
You shouldn't be  
Are you sad  
Are locked in your room  
You shouldn't be  
  
I'm drowning inside your head  
Help me to answer help understand  
But it's been so long since we talked like friends  
Please forgive me I'm just a girl whose  
Made mistakes, stay with me  
Stop pretending when they say you're nothing  
  
Are you sad  
Are you holding yourself  
You shouldn't be  
Are you sad  
Are you locked in your room  
You shouldn't be  
  
- "Are You Sad?" by Our Lady Peace  
  
  
  
  
Selphie sat lazily on her bed, contemplating. She was thinking about Zell. She had to find out what was wrong with him and this was her night to do it. She tried to think of possible reasons for him to be sad. She knew he had been kind of stressed out about SeeD stuff, but that didn't seem to be it. She decided to just try to get him to talk to her when they got together that night.  
She was looking forward to spending time with him, though. It had been quite some time since they had been together alone. Now most of her time was spent with Irvine. She figured she had that obligation to him as his girlfriend, but when they were together he was easily distracted, especially when a pretty young girl would make an appearance. She also didn't feel very compelled to have a serious, emotional conversation. That was another reason she was glad to be getting together with Zell. Whenever she was around him she just felt like pouring out her very soul to him. She was very comfortable around him. That's why she considered him her best friend.  
  
  
  
Zell sat in his room, alone as usual. He wasn't as sad as he usually was, though. Usually he would take this solitude as an opportunity to sulk privately. He really didn't want any of his friends to know that he wasn't his usual cheery self.   
The reason he wasn't as sad, though, was that he was actually looking forward to the time that he was going to spend with Selphie. He hadn't gotten the chance to be with her alone for a long time. It seemed like she was always with Irvine. Zell didn't exactly like that. It wasn't that he didn't want Selphie to have a boyfriend, it was that he didn't want Selphie to have a bad boyfriend. He wanted her to be with someone who would treat her right. Zell noticed the way Irvine looked at other girls. How could he not notice? It killed him. He thought that whoever was with Selphie should have eyes only for her. After all Selphie was the greatest person Zell had ever met. That's why he considered her his best friend.  
  
  
It was getting close to seven and Selphie decided to head over to Zell's room so they could leave for the beach. She walked to the area of the dormitories that his room was in. She walked up to his door and knocked lightly. She heard some noise and suddenly the door swung open and Zell appeared. She smiled at the sight of him.  
"Hi,"he said somewhat nervously.  
"Hi,"she replied,"Are you ready to go?"  
"Yeah, let's go,"he said, walking through the doorway and closing the door behind him.  
The walked together silently to the front gate. It was a little awkward because neither knew what to say to the other. The silence was killing Selphie so she finally decided to break it.  
"So how was your day today?"she asked. She knew it was a dumb question, but she couldn't think of anything else to say.  
"It was okay, I guess. I didn't do much. I worked out a little in the training center,"Zell replied half-heartedly.  
Selphie knew this wasn't the real Zell. Normally he would brag about kicking a T-Rexaurs ass or something like that. He would get really enthusiastic and start shadow-boxing, but not tonight. It pained Selphie to see Zell like this. She wanted him to be happy, and she was very sure that he wasn't.  
They reached the front gate and continued along the road towards the beach. Selphie decided that walking there would be much more pleasant than checking out a Garden car. They walked in silence again. Selphie didn't know how to strike a conversation. She wanted to know what was wrong with Zell, but she also knew that she would have to be patient in getting her answer. She decided to just act normally and see where things went from there.  
"Wow, Zelly! Isn't tonight such a beautiful night!"Selphie said, looking up at the sky once they reached the beach.  
Zell gazed upward.  
"Yeah, the stars are really shining tonight,"he said unenthusiastically. He knew he should get it together and act like his usual self or Selphie would figure out that he wasn't happy. The problem was that would be like lying and lying was the one thing he couldn't do around Selphie.  
Selphie plopped down in the sand. She motioned for Zell to sit next to her. Zell sat down holding his knees to his chest. Selphie continued to stare at the sky while Zell gazed out at the ocean. Selphie followed his gaze and also watched the water.  
"I love how the moonlight reflects off the water,"Zell said.   
Selphie looked at him and became dazed.  
Without thinking she said,"I love how the moonlight reflects in your eyes."  
Zell was taken aback.  
"What?"he asked. He hadn't been expecting Selphie to say something like that.  
"Oh gosh! Did I just say that out loud?"she asked. Zell could only nod.  
"Well what I meant was...ummmm...it's just that...I turned to look at you and I saw your eyes and they were glimmering from the moonlight and well...they were...beautiful,"Selphie managed to spit out.  
"I'm sorry,"she added.  
Zell was very flattered, but not uncomfortable and he didn't want Selphie to be sorry.  
"No, don't be sorry. I just wasn't expecting you to say that. I'm sorry about the way I reacted,"he said.  
Selphie smiled. Zell was always considerate of other peoples feelings. That was his most reliable quality. It never failed and Selphie knew she could always count on it.  
"Gosh, it's been a while since we spent time together like this,"Selphie said.  
"Yeah, I know. We just haven't been able to get together. I've been training and you, well you have Irvine,"he replied.  
Selphie noticed something strange about when he mentioned her and Irvine. Like there were some underlying feelings there. She decided to just brush it off and get back to her previous mission of finding out what was wrong with him. She decided to throw tact out the window and just be blunt.  
"Zell, why won't you talk to me anymore?"Selphie asked.  
Zell didn't know what she meant.  
"I'm talking to you right now,"he said.  
"No, I mean you never TALK to me anymore. We never have any serious conversations. I always thought you never had a problem opening up to me,"she said, looking at him.  
"I haven't had anything I needed to talk about,"Zell lied.  
"I know that's not true, Zell. I know something is wrong with you. You haven't been the same lately. I don't know what's wrong, but maybe if you tell me I can help you,"she said as he looked away.  
She reached over and put her hand to the side of his face, turning his head towards her.   
"Please, talk to me,"she said, looking into his eyes. He felt like crying. He wanted to get it all out so badly.  
"I-it's hard to explain,"he said.  
"We've got all the time in the world,"she said. She was so relieved that she was getting somewhere. She really didn't think that he was going to talk to her.  
"Well, I guess what it all boils down to is...I'm missing something,"he admitted. He still wasn't revealing the whole truth, but he couldn't manage to get it all out at one time even though he needed to.  
"What do you mean?"Selphie asked, not breaking their eye contact for a second.  
"...I'm alone,"he said barely above a whisper.  
"What do you mean you're alone? You've got so many friends and you've got you're family. How could you possibly think you're alone?"Selphie asked, confusedly.  
"No, what I mean is...I don't have...a significant other,"he said still quietly.  
Realization finally dawned on Selphie.  
"Oh, well, what about that cute library girl. Everyone knows she has a huge crush on you,"Selphie suggested.  
"I know I sound picky, but she's just not what I'm looking for,"he said, staring at the ground.  
"Well what are you looking for?"Selphie asked.  
"...I don't know,"he said.  
Selphie didn't know what to do. She hadn't expected for this to be Zell's problem. But then again it did make a lot of sense. All of his friends had boyfriends or girlfriends so it was only natural that he would desire the same thing.  
She decided that until she could figure out a more permanent solution to his problem she would spend all the time with him she could. She hoped this would at least take his mind off his problem. It wouldn't exactly be a chore for Selphie either.  
"I hate seeing you so sad,"Selphie said honestly,"It really doesn't suit you."  
"Listen, I don't really want anybody to know about the way I've been feeling lately, so could you do me a favor and not tell anybody else?"he asked.  
"Okay, I promise, but you have to do something for me first,"she said.  
Zell looked frightened,"What is it?"  
"You have to show me one of those toothy smiles I love seeing,"Selphie said, grinning.  
"Selphie,"Zell said in a whiny voice.  
"Nope, you're not getting out of it,"she said.  
Zell could tell by the way she looked that she was plotting something, but he couldn't tell what. Suddenly she jumped on him and started tickling him mercilessly. Zell was forced to laugh hysterically. He rolled around trying to escape her grasp. When her tickling finally subsided they were both laying on the ground with her on top of him. Their faces were very close together. They just stared at each other for a few moments.  
Selphie laughed nervously,"See, I told ya you would smile."  
"Yeah yeah,"Zell said smiling at her.   
After another moment she rolled off of him. They both stood up.  
"So, I was thinking. Do you wanna do something tomorrow?"Selphie asked.  
"Sure,"Zell said, smiling again.  
"Yay!"Selphie said, clapping her hands together.  
"Well, I guess we should head back to Garden now,"Zell said.  
"Good idea,"she replied.  
They both started their walk back to Garden together. Zell actually felt a little better. Even if he didn't have love, at least he finally had something. For once, he finally had hope. Maybe someday he would find love...someday.  
  
  
Well there's chapter 2! So will Zell's thoughts be prophetic? Stay tuned to find out! And give me feedback! 


	3. A Day Spent Together

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII. Square does. I also do not own "All You Wanted". Michelle Branch and her respective record label do.  
  
  
  
A/N: Sorry this took so long. I'm trying to be better about updates. I've had writer's block, though. I warn you: this chapter will be full of pure, corny fluff. Hope you can stomach it.  
  
  
  
Today's song is "All You Wanted" by Michelle Branch. This is pretty much self-explanatory. It is a good display of how Selphie feels about Zell's problem  
  
  
  
I wanted to be like you  
I wanted everything  
So I tried to be like you  
And I got swept away  
  
I didn't know that it was so cold  
And you needed someone  
To show you the way  
So I took your hand and we figured out  
That when the tide comes  
I'd take you away  
  
If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
Was somebody who cares  
  
I'm sinking slowly  
So hurry hold me  
Your hand is all I have to keep me  
Hanging on  
Please can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone  
  
If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted   
Was somebody who cares  
  
All you wanted was somebody who cares   
IF you need me you know I'll be there  
Oh, yeah  
  
If you want to   
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted   
Was somebody who cares  
  
Please can you tell me  
So I can finally see   
Where you go you're gone  
  
  
  
  
Selphie awoke in excitement. She didn't have anything to do that day so she would be able to devote it entirely to spending time with Zell. She still didn't know how to solve his problem. Her spending time with him the previous night did seem like it helped, though. She was glad she was able to help him. Everybody had been ignoring him lately. She knew Irvine wouldn't miss her for the day anyway.  
Her thoughts drifted to Irvine. When they had first gotten together she thought she was in love with him, but lately she hadn't been so sure. She knew he wasn't cheating on her, but she didn't like his wandering eyes. When he actually paid attention to her he was a wonderful guy. The problem was he didn't pay attention to her for great lengths of time. She didn't want to seem high maintenance so she didn't voice these negative thoughts to him. And even though she knew he wasn't currently cheating on her, she couldn't help wondering how long it would be before his innocent flirtations turned into something more.  
Selphie shook these thoughts. Today was going to be a happy day. She would get to spend it with her favorite person in the world. And she was going to try her hardest to cheer him up. She got dressed and headed for Zell's room.  
  
  
  
Zell was laying in bed staring at his ceiling. He liked staring at his ceiling. He always thought best when he was staring at it. His thoughts were currently on Selphie, his best friend. Actually, in a way, she was his only friend. She was the only person that knew about his true feelings. Even though he still didn't have love, she really did help him. At least some of the loneliness dissipated while spending time with her. He was ecstatic that she wanted to spend this day with him, too. He wouldn't have thought that she would rather spend it with him than Irvine.  
Zell's happiness drained a little at the thought of Irvine. Zell didn't think he deserved Selphie. Zell hated how Irvine was always flirting with other girls. Zell couldn't imagine how Irvine could take his eyes off Selphie with her soft brown hair, her big caring eyes, her petite figure, and that cute way she kicked her leg up when she got excited. Wait a second. What was he thinking? This was Selphie, his best friend.  
'Get rid of those thoughts,' Zell thought, 'She's with Irvine and she's your best friend.'  
Zell was pulled out of his thoughts altogether when he heard a knock on his door. He knew it had to be Selphie.  
"Come in!" he shouted.  
Selphie opened the door and walked in. She was wearing her usual little yellow dress and brown boots. Zell thought she was a vision of beauty.  
'Where did that come from?' he asked himself internally.  
  
Selphie had just entered the room. She smiled at Zell. Her smile slowly faded when she actually took a good look at Zell. He apparently had just gotten out of bed because he wasn't wearing a shirt. Selphie had never seen Zell without his shirt on. She couldn't stop herself from staring at his bare torso. She imagined what it would be like to be held in that pair of muscular arms.  
She was snapped out of her daze when Zell coughed. She looked at his face to see him eyeing her confusedly. She must have looked like a complete idiot just staring at him like that.  
"Um…what would you like to do today?" Zell asked shyly.  
"Oh, I don't know. I was thinking we could walk over to Balamb and just wing it from there," Selphie said, getting over her previous stupor.  
"All right," he said with a smile. Selphie was happy to see him smile. He looked around for a little while before finding his shirt amongst all the clothes scattered around his floor. He put on the shirt and his shoes and walked over to where Selphie was standing.  
"Are you ready to go?" he asked.  
"Yeah, but do you mind if we stop by the cafeteria on the way out? I'm pretty sure that's where Irvine is and I want to let him know he's on his own today," Selphie asked.   
She thought she saw a slight grimace at the mention of his name. She decided that it was nothing.   
"That's fine with me. Let's go," he said.  
They walked together to the cafeteria. When they got there the saw Irvine laughing with three scantily clad girls. Selphie looked over at Zell. He seemed to be angrier than she was. She had only seen him this upset once when Seifer ate the cafeteria's last hot dog right in front of Zell. She wasn't happy about it herself. She saw the three girls exchanging flirtatious touches. She hat gotten used to this kind of thing, though. She had accepted it. She walked over to him.  
"Hey, Irvine," she greeted.  
"Huh? Oh, hey, Selphie," he replied.  
The girls looked like they were ready to gouge out Selphie's eyes with their fingernails.   
"I just came to tell you that I'm going to be spending today with Zell. All right?" she asked.   
She didn't know why she was even bothering. She knew he wouldn't care.  
"Yeah. That's fine," Irvine said quickly as he turned back to the other girls.  
Selphie walked back over to Zell. He was waiting patiently at the entrance of the cafeteria.   
"Ready to head out?" she asked.  
"Yeah, let's go," he replied as they exited the cafeteria together.   
  
Zell was content as he ever had been during their walk. Not much was said, but that didn't matter. Zell just liked being in Selphie's company. It really made him forget about his unhappiness. All that mattered at the moment was being near Selphie.   
The came to the section of the road to Balamb that was adjacent to the forest. Selphie stopped for a second. Zell was wondering what she was thinking because it appeared that gears were turning in her head.  
"Let's play hide and seek!" she said suddenly.  
"What?" Zell asked confusedly.  
"We used to play hide and seek all the time at Matron's orphanage. Don't you remember?" Selphie asked.  
Zell remembered. The endless games of hide and seek he had enjoyed with Selphie happened to be his happiest memories. Zell smiled at the thought.  
"Yeah, I remember," he said, still grinning.  
"So, you wanna play?" she asked hopefully.  
Zell shrugged, "Why not?"  
"Yay!" Selphie said in glee as she did that cute leg kick that Zell loved so very much.  
"So who's hiding first?" he asked, unable to contain his smile  
"Me!" Selphie shouted enthusiastically.  
"All right," Zell said as he walked over to a nearby tree, "This will be the base. I'm gonna count to 100 and then I'll come looking for you."  
"Okay," she agreed.  
"Ready?" he asked.  
"Yeah!" she said excitedly.  
Zell covered his eyes.  
"Go!" he shouted.  
He heard her run off into the woods. He started counting to 100.   
"Ready or not, here I come!" he shouted when he finished counting.  
He headed in the direction that he had heard her run off in. He looked around for any possible place that she might be hiding in. He was starting to remember how good at hiding she was.   
When it seemed that he would never find her, he heard her jump out behind him. He whirled around to see her sprinting for the base tree. He ran after her. It was an all-out chase. He started gaining on her. His longer legs gave him more speed.  
He had just about caught up with her. He made a final stride and grabbed her around her waist with her arms pinned to her sides. He turned her around in his embrace so that she was facing him. He picked her up and spun her around in victory. When he set her down they were both laughing hysterically. His arms were still locked around her waist when the laughing subsided, but her hands now rested on his chest.   
This was when Zell noticed how close they were. He could feel Selphie's breath on his face. He was staring deeply into her eyes. Their smiles had faded and they were locked in each other's gaze. Something deep down inside Zell was telling him to lean down and kiss Selphie. Zell was a mixture of emotions. He was a mass of confusion. He had never felt this way about Selphie before. It was so strange, but he was having a very difficult time trying to fight the urge to kiss her. His brain kept reminding him that she was Irvine's girlfriend. It just wasn't right. Selphie would probably hit him anyway.  
He released her from her embrace. When he looked at her he could have sworn he saw a hint of disappointment in Selphie's eyes. He must have been wrong, though, because she was happily with Irvine. Zell decided that these new feelings for Selphie would just have to be pushed into the back of his mind and forgotten. It wasn't like he was falling in love with her or something.  
  
It was plain and simple. Selphie was confused. She didn't know what had just happened. She had a boyfriend and there she was, hoping against hope that Zell would kiss her. She couldn't believe that she even thought that. Zell was her best friend. She decided that this was just a passing fancy. A silly attraction that would just have to be forgotten. It wasn't like she was falling in love with him or something.  
She decided that the silence must be broken.  
"Are you ready to head to Balamb?" she asked.  
"Yeah that sounds like a good idea," he said.  
They finished their walk to Balamb.  
The rest of the day went by very quickly for Selphie. She had more fun than she could ever remember having, even with her strange new attraction to Zell. First, they rented a couple of fishing poles. That turned out to be an experience neither of them would soon forget. After proceeding to stab himself with a hook Zell almost got dragged into the water by a fish. Selphie hadn't done much better. She couldn't even bring herself to put the worm on the hook. She just couldn't hurt an innocent creature. Instead, she took all her worms and freed them outside the city.   
Then they ate lunch at a small café. The day's conversation was great. Selphie had never talked like that with Irvine. And that was another thing. She kept comparing the things he did to what Irvine would normally do. She couldn't understand why she would be doing that. Irvine was her boyfriend and Zell was her best friend. Those were two very different roles in her life. It was like comparing apples and oranges, but here she was doing it.  
Then dinner came. They ate at a restaurant with outdoor tables. It was very pleasant. It was a beautiful night. The stars were shining brilliantly. Across the street there was a group of street performers playing soft music on their instruments. They had a trumpet, a saxophone, and a violin. It was very relaxing. Zell really appeared to be the happiest Selphie had seen him in a while. She was even happier because she was the cause of this happiness.   
They made small talk for a while and then Zell looked at her strangely. Selphie didn't know why he was looking at her like that.  
"When's the last time Irvine told you how beautiful you are?" he asked.  
Selphie was shocked at the statement. Zell had never said anything like that to her before. And actually, she couldn't remember Irvine ever telling her she was beautiful. Seeing Selphie's startled reaction Zell looked like he immediately regretted saying that.  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," he said as he looked down at the table.  
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to seem upset or anything. Thank you very much for the compliment," she said, smiling at him.  
"Any time," he said, smiling back.  
He looked over at the band and then looked back over at Selphie.  
"Would you like to dance with me?" he asked.  
Selphie was taken aback again. She hadn't danced since the SeeD ball. Irvine didn't like dancing.  
"I'd like that a lot," she said.  
He got up and offered his hand to her. She took it and got up from her seat. They walked over near the band. The band was playing a slow, mellow song. Selphie wrapped one arm around Zell's neck and took his right hand in hers. Zell wrapped his other hand around her waist. Selphie was surprised, but Zell could actually dance very well.   
"I didn't know you could dance, Zell," Selphie said as she looked up to meet his gaze.  
"I guess I have a few hidden talents," he said, smiling his trademark toothy grin.  
"I really appreciate this," he added, "This time with you has made me happier than I've been in a while."  
"I'm glad," she said, "I've enjoyed it, too. I really did miss hanging out with you."  
Then they were silent as they continued to sway to the music. Selphie couldn't remember being so content. She felt like she could stay this way forever. She rested her head on Zell's chest. She was a little surprised when she felt him kiss the top of her head. She didn't know what was happening between them, but she didn't think she could stop it if she wanted to.  
  
  
  
  
Well, there it is. Again, I'm sorry this took me so long. Tell me what you think. I'll try and have the next chapter up soon. 


	4. The Comfortee Becomes the Comforter

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Final Fantasy VIII. If I did, I wouldn't be eating stale bread right now. Yum.  
  
  
  
  
A/N: I cannot apologize to you guys enough! I am so sorry about not updating sooner! It's no excuse, but I'm on a shortage of time between my job and school. Please be patient with me.  
  
  
  
Song stuff: This chapter's song is "Love Song" by Five for Fighting. Picture it from Zell's POV. After you read the chapter it's all self-explanatory.  
  
  
Put away your tears and your sleepy eyes  
Putaway that bullshit, big boys they don't cry to their mamas  
She'll be back soon  
Put away your raincoat and make your bed  
Take another bullet right to your head  
We're going on a picnic and we'll get there soon  
  
She says: Maybe it's over  
He says: There's plenty more fish in the sea  
I say: Don't go away from me  
  
Put away your dinner and have a snack  
Tie your little brother up in a sack now  
We're moving to the country and we'll get there soon (she says)  
  
Pack up all the things that you don't deserve  
Take another swing, here comes a curve ball  
I bet you can't hit it cause you'll swing to soon  
  
She says: Maybe it's over  
He says: There's plenty more fish in the sea  
I say: Don't go away  
Don't go away  
Please don't go away from me  
  
Take those damn pictures off of that shelf  
Put away your mommy you don't need her  
I found you a new one, she'll be here soon  
  
She says: My God it's over  
He says: I found another fish in the sea  
I say: Why me?  
Why me?  
Why me?  
Why is it me?  
  
- "Love Song" by Five for Fighting  
  
  
  
  
  
Irvine was having a good night. He was just sitting on his couch, enjoying a movie with a beautiful girl sitting next to him. He couldn't have cared less that Selphie was out with Zell.  
The girl was Layna Creslin. She and Irvine had become friends a few weeks before. Irvine loved flirting with a lot of girls, but this was one of the few he actually liked to hang out with. She was fun to be around. He did like hanging out with Selphie, but they had been dating for quite a while and frankly, he was starting to get bored.  
The movie ended. It had been an action movie that Irvine picked out. He thought it had been pretty good. It had everything he could ever want, explosions and beautiful women.  
"Wow, that movie sucked!" Layna said.  
"What are you talking about!? That movie was great!" Irvine replied.  
"Yeah, it would have been great if I was blind and deaf!" she said jokingly.  
"You don't know what you're talkin' about," Irvine grumped.  
"Well, next time, I get to pick the movie," she said.  
"Oh no! You'll just pick some cheesy romance movie," he whined.  
"And what's so bad about that?" she asked.  
"Romance movies are so stupid! They're nothing like real life," he argued.  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yeah."  
"Well how real is this?"  
And with that, she leaned over and firmly kissed Irvine.  
Irvine knew he should push her away. He had a girlfriend. What was her name again? But he couldn't help kissing her back. She was just so beautiful and he really did like her. So he gave into temptation.  
That was when the door opened.  
  
  
  
  
Fifteen minutes earlier...  
  
Selphie and Zell walked happily together through the front gates of Balamb Garden. It had been a wonderful evening. Selphie hadn't had that much fun since she could remember. She loved spending time with Zell and he really did seem to be happier.  
But she couldn't helped but be a little unnerved. New feelings for Zell were starting to stir deep down inside her. It was something about the way he looked at her at dinner, and about the way he held her while they were dancing, and about the massive dissappointment when he didn't kiss her after hide and seek. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was her best friend. She had a boyfriend.   
She shook it off. She figured it was just a fleeting attraction. It could have sprung from the lack of time they had spent together since she had started dating Irvine. Maybe she was just afraid she would lose him. Maybe she was just rationalizing.  
"Are you okay?"Zell asked with a concerned gaze.  
"I'm fine," Selphie said as she was jerked from her thoughts.  
"You just looked a little spaced out," he said.  
"I was just thinking. Don't worry about it."  
"All right."  
They arrived at the dormitories. Selphie decided that the best way to exterminate these feelings for Zell would be to go spend some romantic time with Irvine. He was probably sitting in his room all by himself.  
"I'm gonna go see Irvine,"she told Zell.  
"All right. I guess I'll go off to bed. Thank you, Selphie, for spending this time with me. It really meant a lot to me," he said.  
The way he looked at Selphie when he said that made her melt. She felt like she could faint right then and there.  
"Well, good night," he said.  
"Good night," she replied and he walked off to his own dorm room.  
Selphie watched him walk away for a moment before walking to Irvine's door. She walked right in.  
And then she saw it.  
  
  
  
Irvine and Layna ripped apart at the sound of the door opening. Irvine looked to see Selphie in the doorway, tears already coming to her eyes.  
"Selphie! This isn't what it looks like!"he said desparately.  
"Irvine..." Selphie muttered.  
Then she ran. Irvine got up to chase after her, but Layna pulled him back.  
"Let her go," she said, "Right now nothing you say will help. You have to give her some time. I'm sorry about this."  
Irvine knew she was right. He sat back down and thought about what a jackass he was.  
  
  
  
Selphie was running. She had no destination. She was just going where her legs would take her. Then she ended up outside a familiar door. She knew the person behind that door was the only person that might be able to help her right now. She weakly knocked.  
The door opened to reveal Zell clad only in a t-shirt and pajama pants. When he noticed her tear-stained face, an immediate look of concern crossed his handsome face.  
"Selphie? What's wrong?" he asked, his voice thick with worry.  
"I-irvine," she stuttered, "H-he was...kissing...another girl!"  
She began sobbing. Zell's arms immediately wrapped around her. He pulled her into his warm embrace as she began to cry on his shoulder. Without a word he slowly began to walk backwards, guiding Selphie into his room as he closed the door behind them.   
He sat her down gently on his bed. He let go of her and crossed the room. He came back with a handful of facial tissues. He sat down next to her. He began to gently wipe away her tears.  
"Tears really don't suit you," he said softly.  
Selphie slightly leaned into his touch. Just the mere touch of his hand on her face made her feel so much better. She stopped crying.  
"Now, what happened?" he asked her gently.  
"I walked into Irvine's room and I saw him on his couch making out with another girl," she said, and as she said it she could already feel the tears coming back.  
"That bastard," Zell whispered with nothing but pure anger in his voice.  
"I don't know how this happened. I mean, I knew he liked to flirt with other girls, but I never thought he would cheat on me," she said.  
"I didn't think he would either. I don't know why anybody would want to cheat when they already had a girl as amazing as you," he said looking her in the eyes.  
Selphie was stunned by the sincerity in his voice. He wasn't just trying to pacify her, he was being completely honest with her. Selphie's heart rate soared.   
"Zell, I don't want to be alone tonight. Do you think I could stay in your room tonight?" she asked shyly.  
"Of course you can," Zell said with a smile.  
Zell pulled up the covers and motioned for Selphie to get in. She did so and Zell pulled up the covers around her. He walked over to the couch and spread some blankets over it.  
"What are you doing?" Selphie asked.  
"I'm making up the couch for me to sleep on," Zell answered.  
"Ummm...when I said I didn't want to be alone...I meant I didn't want to be alone at all. Would you sleep with me...just for tonight?" she asked timidly.  
"Anything for you Selphie," he relied smiling.  
He walked over the bed and got in next to Selphie. His whole body stiffened when he felt her put her head on his shoulder. Then he loosened up and put his arm around her, holding her close as she drifted of to sleep. Without thinking, he kissed her forehead and went to sleep as well.  
  
  
  
  
  
Well there's that chapter for you....I hope to be better about updating this story....and thanks for all the wonderful reviews....keep 'em comin'! 


	5. A Crime of Rage

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII…trust me. I also do not own "Just For". Nickelback does…trust me.  
  
A/N: Words cannot express how sorry I am that I haven't updated in so long. I've been terribly busy between my job and school. But now school is out and I'm ready to deliver you the quality fan fiction you deserve. So here goes nothing.  
  
Here's the song:  
  
I want to take his eyes out  
  
Just for looking at you  
  
Yes I do  
  
And I want to take his hands off   
  
Just for touching you  
  
Yes I do  
  
And I want to rip his heart out  
  
Just for hurting you  
  
And I want to break his mind down  
  
Yes I do, yes I do, yes I do  
  
And I want to make him regret   
  
Life since the day he met you  
  
Yes I do  
  
And I want to make him take back  
  
All that he took from you  
  
Yes I do  
  
And I want to rip his heart out  
  
Just for hurting you  
  
And I want to break his mind down  
  
Yes I do, yes I do, yes I do, yes I do, yes I do  
  
And I want to rip his heart out   
  
Just for hurting you  
  
And I want to break his mind down  
  
Yes I do, yes I don, yes I do, yes I do  
  
- "Just For" by Nickelback  
  
Selphie had officially discovered the greatest feeling in the world. And that feeling was waking up in Zell's arms. She could feel the heat radiating off of him even through her clothing. Even though the previous night had been one of the worst nights of her life, she had had the best sleep in years. She felt so comfortable. Zell's arms were around her waist from behind and his head was buried in the crook of her neck. She could feel his chest rising and falling and she could feel his breathe on her skin. It was enough to make her tingle.  
  
But it was also enough to leave Selphie in a very confused state. What were these new found feelings for Zell? She couldn't jump to conclusions about anything considering the events of the previous night. But then again, hadn't these strange feelings started to stir before she caught Irvine cheating on her?  
  
Selphie was forced out of her thoughts when she felt Zell stir behind her. She turned her head to see a very groggy Zell staring back at her. He smiled at her.  
  
"G'morning," he said in a hoarse voice.  
  
"Good morning," Selphie said, giggling at the sight of Zell's enormous cowlick.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Zell asked seriously.  
  
"I feel surprisingly good," she replied.  
  
"Good," Zell said with a grin. Then he looked down and noticed their spooning position. He turned six shades of red and quickly removed himself from Selphie. She immediately missed his warmth.  
  
"Sorry," he said apologetically, "I guess I must have latched on to you in my sleep."  
  
"It's okay," Selphie replied, looking down shyly as she turned in the bed to face Zell.  
  
"Um…I don't quite know how to say this…but…thank you for being there for me last night," she said timidly.  
  
"You don't need to thank me, Selphie. I would do anything for you, and it is my pleasure to be there to help you in any way possible. I only wish I could make your pain go away," he said sincerely.  
  
"I don't think you're too far off from accomplishing that," Selphie said as tears started to come to her eyes.  
  
"Please don't cry, Sef. I can't bare to see you sad," Zell said.  
  
"I'm not sad, Zell. What you said made me really happy," Selphie said as a tear fell down her cheek.  
  
Zell reached out a shy hand towards her cheek. His hand trembled as it gently touched the side of her face to wipe her tears away. Selphie closed her eyes at his touch. Then she felt something shocking. Zell had stopped using his fingers to clear away her tears. He had replaced them with his lips.  
  
Selphie's eyes flew open at the sensation of Zell's lips on her cheek. She jerked her head back. Both she and Zell had looks of pure fear on their faces.   
  
Selphie searched Zell's eyes. There was so much in those blue, glistening orbs. She was lost in the plethora of emotions that lay there. All coherent thought ceased when Zell slowly began to lean forward. Selphie slowly closed her eyes and shuddered with anticipation of what was to come. She gently parted her lips and they moved closer and closer until…  
  
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!  
  
The jerked apart and Selphie went flying off the bed and onto the floor. Zell practically leapt to his feet.  
  
"Are you okay!?" he asked Selphie.   
  
"Yeah, I'm fine, but see whose at the door," she replied.  
  
"Who is it?" Zell shouted at the door.  
  
"It's Rinoa," came the muffled reply.  
  
"Be right there," he said.  
  
Zell made his way to the door and opened it just enough to stick his head through.  
  
"What's up?" he asked.  
  
"I was wondering if you'd seen Selphie. I went by her room to see if she wanted to have breakfast with me and she wasn't there," Rinoa said.  
  
"I'm in here!" Selphie shouted from inside the room  
  
Zell opened the door all the way to reveal Selphie standing in the middle of the room. Zell stepped aside to allow Rinoa into the room  
  
"Oh, there you are! I've been looking all over for you. What are you doing in Zell's room this early in the morning?" she asked Selphie.  
  
"Well, uh…I sort of spent the night here," Selphie replied.  
  
"Why?" Rinoa asked stealing an inquisitive glance at Zell.  
  
"Well, last night I caught Irvine in his room kissing another girl, so I came here," she said quietly.  
  
"He was cheating on you!? That low-life bastard!" Rinoa said angrily.  
  
"I was completely shocked. I knew he was flirtatious, but I never thought he'd do this to me," Selphie explained.  
  
"Yeah, I didn't think he'd do something like this either," Rinoa said more calmly. "Well, would you like to come have some breakfast with me anyway? Maybe it'll cheer you up."  
  
"Sure," Selphie replied, "That sounds good. Do you wanna come, Zell?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm starving," Zell said, smiling at Selphie.  
  
They left the room and started off for the cafeteria. Selphie filled Zell's thoughts. Did he really almost kiss her? It all seemed like a blur. He wanted to kiss her so much. His heart had been racing anticipating the feeling of her lips on his. He couldn't believe he was thinking this. Selphie was supposed to be his best friend. He was not supposed to have romantic feelings for her. But the more Zell thought about it, the less he could fight it. She was just so perfect. And she had just proved how strong she was. Zell admired her more than anyone. But he still didn't know what to do next. To put it simply, he was confused.  
  
They walked into the cafeteria when Selphie stopped suddenly. Zell looked over to see a look of pure pain cross her beautiful face. He followed Selphie's gaze to see Irvine laughing with some girl. He assumed it was the girl Irvine had been caught kissing the previous night. He couldn't believe the nerve of Irvine. Pure rage filled his heart and before he could even formulate a thought, he was running.  
  
Zell ran as fast as he could. He dropped his right shoulder and threw it into Irvine's chest, knocking the breath out of the cowboy and throwing him against the wall.   
  
"What's your deal, man!?" Irvine said, giving Zell a shove.  
  
"You stupid son of a bitch!" Zell screamed as he launched his right fist into the side of Irvine's face.  
  
Zell grabbed Irvine's collar and slammed his back against the wall repeatedly.  
  
"How could you hurt her!? She loved you and you took it for granted you stupid asshole!" Zell screamed as he continued to throw Irvine hard against the wall. A thin stream of blood trickled down the side of Irvine's face.  
  
Before Zell could continue his beating, someone grabbed his shirt from behind and yanked him off of Irvine. It was Squall who held Zell away from Irvine. Irvine reached a hand to the spot of blood on his face.   
  
"What is wrong with you, Zell!?" Squall demanded, not knowing why Zell would have such an outburst.  
  
"That bastard hurt my Selphie!" Zell replied, not calming down one bit and struggling to release himself from Squall's grasp.  
  
Selphie couldn't believe what she was seeing. One minute she was feeling crushed at the sight of Irvine with the girl from the night before, the next she was seeing Zell beat the life out of Irvine. She was shocked, but on some level she was touched that he cared about her so much. Finally she saw Squall pull Zell off of Irvine and she chose this moment to pull out of her trance and run up to the scene.  
  
"That bastard hurt my Selphie!" she heard Zell scream.  
  
She leapt in front of Zell. She was a little afraid because she had never seen Zell this angry before. She swallowed her fear and reached a hand up to the side of Zell's face, giving him a soothing touch.  
  
"It's okay, Zell. Calm down," she said in a caring voice.  
  
Zell immediately came out of his berserk state at the feel of Selphie's touch and the sound of her voice. Seeing that he was calmer, Squall slowly released his hold on Zell.  
  
"What the hell is your deal!?" Irvine asked in an angry voice.  
  
"Selphie told me what you did!" Zell said, the anger returning to him. Selphie noticed this and reached out to take Zell's hand in hers. She gave it a gentle squeeze. Zell calmed down again.  
  
"That's between me and Selphie," Irvine said, turning his gaze to Selphie. "Selphie, please talk to me. Let me explain myself. I love you."  
  
"Somehow I find that very hard to believe," Selphie said, tears beginning to come to her eyes. It was Zell's turn to give Selphie's hand a comforting squeeze.  
  
"Please, just come somewhere with me so we can talk," Irvine pleaded.  
  
"Maybe, but you'll have to give me some time," she replied.  
  
Irvine gave a defeated nod and walked off. Selphie breathed a sigh of relief. She was proud of herself for standing her ground.  
  
Squall turned angrily to Zell.  
  
"Zell, I don't give a damn about your personal issues! Assaulting another SeeD is unacceptable!" Squall shouted.  
  
"I understand. I apologize," Zell said quietly.  
  
"I don't want to punish you, but I can't have the junior cadets thinking this kind of behavior is tolerated. You'll spend the rest of the day on cleaning duty," Squall said in his best authoritative voice.  
  
"Very well," Zell agreed.  
  
Zell looked at Selphie and smiled.  
  
"I'll talk to you later," he said to her.  
  
"Okay," Selphie said, smiling back.  
  
Zell walked out of the cafeteria and headed for the garage to wash all the Garden cars. In a way, getting stuck with cleaning duty wouldn't be so bad. He had a lot to think about, and Selphie would just be a major distraction.  
  
A/N: Well, there's that chapter. I hope to have another one up very soon. Thanks for sticking with me! 


	6. Heart to Heart

Disclaimer: I don't own this stuff. The company formerly known as Square does. And Finger Eleven owns "Thousand Mile Wish".  
  
A/N: Yes, folks it's true! I'm not dead! I know I left this fic for a while, but that was because of some personal problems that were keeping me from writing fanfics. I don't plan on writing much more FF fanfiction because I'm more inclined to write original fiction now. But I will finish all the fics I started. So enjoy.  
  
Forgive me if now I wear the face of worry   
  
This time alone could never cause any doubt   
  
But I've been cold too long   
  
Such a strange time to find myself coming down as the rain   
  
With all these holes my love,   
  
To fill up from the middle   
  
This storm could stay all night   
  
  
  
So can you stay until we close our eyes   
  
Til your dreams hold mine   
  
Just stay until we know we tried one more time   
  
  
  
Cause laughing lovers can overcome their closest demons   
  
And they'll go on and they won't let go   
  
They saw something that they know   
  
Has never come so close   
  
Can it stay here for us, for now?   
  
Can it stay until we know ourselves?   
  
I'm torn as I tell   
  
You're the story that I know and fell from   
  
I'm so far into your story I don't know why   
  
We think we're in control   
  
When we lie between the lines   
  
  
  
We'll find a line to follow   
  
It's got to show real soon   
  
Or we'll never each this high   
  
  
  
We climb a little further   
  
Cause there's nothing we can't get around together   
  
Further gets colder until nothing was all that I saw around   
  
  
  
So we stay until the ground   
  
That we can't come down from splits us away   
  
Maybe stars know why we fall   
  
I just wish they were thinking out loud   
  
Oh, I could wish all night  
  
- "Thousand Mile Wish" by Finger Eleven  
  
'Wax on...wax off,' were Zell's mundane thoughts as he scrubbed the Garden car. It was tedious and boring work. But in his mind the punishment was well worth the crime. In fact, he'd still give his left leg for five minutes alone with Irvine. But thoughts of Irvine turned to thoughts of Selphie.  
  
Zell had never felt such a mixture of love, jealousy, and anger in all his life. He was falling hard for Selphie. There was no other explanation for what he was feeling. The tingles when she was near, the jealousy he felt towards Irvine, and the burning desire he felt to kiss her and never stop kissing her. It was soaked through his entire being. It was an all consuming love.  
  
Zell just couldn't figure out what took him so long to figure it out. Because in retrospect he had been in love with her since childhood. She was the constant in his life, the one who would always be there. He couldn't live without her and he didn't want to.  
  
'Well, the first step is admitting the problem,' Zell thought. He didn't know where to go with his newly discovered feelings. He knew Selphie still loved Irvine. You can't just flip a switch and turn something like that off. But he also knew that Irvine had really screwed up by kissing that other girl. That may be the ultimate downfall in their relationship. Selphie may not be able to forgive Irvine for that. But even if their relationship came to an end, what's to say she would return Zell's love?  
  
It was questions like these that made Zell not want to tell Selphie how he felt. He couldn't take it if she didn't return his feelings. It would crush Zell to lose his friendship with Selphie. It was all so confusing.  
  
He just continued to scrub the car until he heard boots tapping behind him. He turned around to see Rinoa.  
  
"Hi Zell," she said casually, but purposefully.  
  
"Hey, Rinoa," he said, forcing a smile.  
  
"Having fun?" she asked.  
  
"Loads," Zell said with much sarcasm.  
  
"Look, Zell, I wanted to talk to you about something," Rinoa started.  
  
"I figured as much. What is it?" Zell said, turning back to his work and preparing to listen.  
  
"It's just that...well, you and Selphie are two of my best friends, and the way you've been acting around her lately and the way you beat up Irvine...I just wanted to know..." Rinoa trailed off and Zell gave her a suspicious look.  
  
"Do you have feelings for Selphie?" she asked finally.  
  
Zell decided he would try to lie to Rinoa about his feelings, lest she tell Selphie.  
  
"She's my best friend," he said in a nonchalant way.  
  
"Yeah, I know...but are you, like, in love with her?" Rinoa asked. "It's okay. You can tell me."  
  
Zell sighed. He wanted to tell someone so bad. Hell, he wanted to scream it from the top of the garden. He wanted to write it in the sky. He gave up fighting it.  
  
"Yeah, I think I am in love with her. But look, Rinoa, you can't tell her anything -"Zell started, but was cut off.  
  
"I won't tell her, but you have to," she said.  
  
"I can't. She still loves Irvine and there's no way she'll feel that way about me anyway," he argued.  
  
"Zell, she deserves to know. And I know Selphie. I've seen the way she's been looking at you lately. Irvine screwed up, but I think you've got a fighting chance. Who wouldn't want to be with their best friend? But you've gotta go after her. You can't wait for her to come to you," Rinoa said firmly.  
  
"I know you're right, Rinoa. But I'm scared," Zell said timidly.  
  
"I know, sweetie, but love's all about over coming your fears," she said, placing a hand on Zell's shoulder.  
  
Zell nodded. Rinoa was right. And he knew what he had to do.  
  
That's it! Sorry, it's so short, but I've gotta go to sleep. I'll try and update ASAP. Lemme know what ya think! 


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